1月12日 你曾独自与神同在吗？

没有人的时候，就把一切的道讲给门徒听。（可四34）

我们与神独处。耶稣不会时常把我们拉在一旁，独自把事情向我们讲解；他乃按着我们所能了解的，讲给我们听。别人的生命都不过是比喻，神所要的乃是我们对自己的反省。这是一项缓慢的工作，神要用无尽的时间才把一个人塑造成合他心意的。我们若要被神使用，就要让他带我们认识自己的不足与丑陋。我们对自己认识之少，简直令人惊奇。嫉妒、怠惰、骄傲，我们早已视若无睹。耶稣就是要把我们未蒙他恩典改造之前，所有蕴藏在肉体里的东西显明出来。有多少人肯鼓起勇气往内里一看？

要除掉自以为认识自己的骄傲，这是最难的。唯一明白我们的只有神。在属灵生命中，最大的咒诅就是自负。我们若有机会瞥见自己在神的眼中本来面目，就永不会说：“啊，我是多么不配。”因为我们实实在在不配，所以用不着说出来。一日我们还未完全认识自己真的不配，神就会追着我们，直至与我们碰头。因为只要有一些自负或骄傲存在，耶稣就无法向我们解明真理。他要领我们经过理智骄傲的创痛，或心灵的沮丧；他会披露不合宜的感情－－这些东西是我们从未想过神要用来对付我们的。在教室里，我们听了许多话，但未明白。惟有当神单独与我们相处，我们才真正明白。

祈祷◆噢，主啊，“群众”在今天将会来而又去。帮助我像我的主，留守在孤寂的地方祈祷。

January 12 Have You Ever Been Alone With GOD?

“When they were alone, He expounded all things to His disciples.” Mark 4:34

Our Solitude with Him. Jesus does not take us alone and expound things to us all the time; He expounds things to us as we can understand them. Other lives are parables. God is making us spell out our own souls. It is slow work, so slow that it takes God all time and eternity to make a man and woman after His own purpose. The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own characters. It is astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We do not know envy when we see it, or laziness, or pride. Jesus reveals to us all that this body has been harbouring before His grace began to work. How many of us have learned to look in with courage?

We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves, it is the last conceit to go. The only One Who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say – “Oh, I am so unworthy,” because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until He gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit, Jesus cannot expound a thing. He will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affection – things over which we never thought He would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in classes, but they are not an exposition to us yet. They will be when God gets us alone over them.